I sit in a chair and parse

May 2

juliaallison:

(via meghanasha)

Happy. I’m so happy.

Retarded. You are so retarded. Mentally and spiritually.

Apr 27

maryrambin:

meghanasha:

Mary found a friend.

For more Vegas pics, see Meghan’s blog. I was otherwise occupied.

Considering DUM DUM’s recent posts, one would think the air filled dummy has the mental edge.

Apr 24

Bye Bye Baugher Blogger

maryrambin:

If you read Baugher Blogger, or find her interesting, or find her becoming trite, you’ve got to read RebloggingRebloggingJulia.

I really can’t believe it’s gone this far. Especially now that Baugher Blogger is so boring. But I feel like you should know about this blog. I find it f-ing hysterical.

Here are a few excepts from his (I believe it’s a guy) introductory post:

“for f*ck’s sake I think there may be 3 or 4 of you out there who will find this just clever, boring, or obnoxious enough to read & take up 30 seconds of your day!! Plus, for the love of god, the dynamic J.A. seems to be worthy of a knight in shining armor to re-blog versus the unfunny “julia baugher” who I will refer to going forward as Darth baugher… “

“It seems yesterday Darth baugher decided to yada yada us to death about IP addresses, how he/she is harder to track down then the Taliban, and a couple of *yawn* digs at J.A. and her personal life.”

“O’ lame one, we ask you to ponder ones own need to psycho(emphasis on psycho by the way) analyze someone who it really sounds like, at least from your sketchy rants, you desire to be like. “

“…we will be watching & we are now going to be reblogging reblogging Julia and we hate to be boring and unfunny…something you seem to have decided to try on for size yesterday…”

I honestly hope that Baugher Blogger will die with the boring IP tirade, and that both blogs will become obsolete. If you really want to bash Julia (or I, or Meghan) there will always be Gawker.

When you contemplate why people on Gawker think you’re “less intelligent”, bookmark this latest gem and practice some introspection Mary.

Apr 23

“IP addresses never lie, my dear. Take up archery, seriously. It’s super fun!
xoxo
j”

I usually keep my rants to Mary ‘DUM DUM’ Rambin, but I had to comment here.

IP addresses although useful aren’t pinpoint accurate. If you are using services like Comcast, Verizon, etc, you are essentially borrowing from a pool of IP’s that a provider’s central location has available for a customer to use temporarily. So in essence your IP, if traced, goes back to “Verizon, NYC, Midtown” xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx. It doesn’t go to a person’s home address. Since it’s temporary, when you shut off your cable modem the IP goes back into the pool. If you don’t shut off your cable modem, the provider automatically recycles you onto a new IP every ten days or so. In Verizon’s case every other day in some areas.

That said, if someone wanted to be really sneaky, there are plenty of free IP spoofing applications available to mark up whatever you’re sending with a phony IP address. So while someone may be in New York, NJ, Kalamazoo Michigan, the IP address that they are providing to a web server receiving their requests will point to Bangalore, Mumbai, or Wellington. Pretty neat…

So, Julia’s use of “I’ve got your IP” is limited at best. The service provider isn’t going to tell her that customer so and so had this IP at 6:00PM on a Friday evening.

But, if Tumblr is in fact releasing IP information, that’s a serious breech of customer trust, but not illegal to do. If that sort of action from the Tumblr staff is pervasive, that would just prompt users to find another service who honors their TOS.

In short, have all the IP’s you want Julia, it doesn’t do you much good.

Another email from our gal, after her latest tantrum. It could be that she can’t read any text without her name in it. It could also be that she didn’t understand the previous posts. I suppose one could also believe that she has decided on a course of action and won’t be dissuaded by blatant tips to the contrary.

Suffice to say, she hasn’t quite comprehended the idea that the person who uploads isn’t necessarily the person who authors. Pink Lady, for you, because I care, and because you only seem to leave the country when some oblivious guy, hoping to score (who clearly doesn’t use google) pays your way, let this be my gift to you. The next few posts will take you on a tour of this great planet. Fire up your IP tracker - no passport needed, nor any veiled suggestion of sex. You’re fine - no need to put out. Let me show you the world - track the IPs of the following posts and pretend you are on a fabulous adventure on your own dime.

(via baugher)

Apr 18

maryrambin:

BIG WORDS? GO AWAY!!! (DUM DUM TRANSLATIONS)

I was totally unmotivated to go to the gym today, so I decided I would choose a class and make a commitment(WROTE A REMINDER ON A POST-IT NOTE AND STUCK IT TO MY WRIST FANNY PACK) to attend. The only cardio class tonight at Equinox was Step Gone Wild (I ORIGINALLY SAID NO, I DON’T LIKE WHAT JOE FRANCIS STANDS FOR). Oh goodness….what the hell.(I’LL JUST ALLOW THEM TO WET MY TEE-SHIRT, THAT’S IT!!)

The class ended up being jazz dance over a step(OH SHOOT I HAVE TO KEEP MY COUNT), in other words, no real work at all(REMEMBER, I CAN TO USE MY FINGERS AND TOES) So I was forced to hit the treadmill. Fine!

Even if I’m just walking fast up an incline, it’s better than sitting on the couch. No expectations to get a full workout, just something to get the blood flowing and burn some calories(I SEEM TO THINK BETTER WHEN I’M ON AN ANGLE FOR SOME REASON, WEIRD RIGHT?).

I picked up the Times Digest, but the writing is too small to read(TOO MANY BIG WORDS TO READ) while moving, so I grabbed Shape(NOT HARD, PRETTY PICTURES). I’ve never read it before, but as I was climbing up the incline, the small blurbs(YAY, MORE PRETTY PICTURES!) were the perfect distraction from the actual work I was doing. Before I knew it, my endorphins were flowing(I ASKED THE NICE MAN NEXT TO ME TO SPELL ENDORPHINS) I changed the music from Sublime to Jay Z(BECAUSE YOU KNOW, WHITE GIRLS FROM TEXAS WITH NO ASS CAN BE JIGGY), ditched (DROPPED, WHOOPS!) Shape, and started running(FROM THE BAD GANGSTER RAPPERS ON MY IPOD, BUT THEY WERE STILL THERE, CHANTING AT ME!).

Getting to the gym is half the battle(I GET LOST SOMETIMES) Classes are a great way to make the commitment(ADULT DODGEBALL IS FUN!), but if there is nothing interesting, you must find your own motivation. (I USUALLY HANG A PAIR OF JIMMY CHOOS ON A STRING ATTACHED TO A STICK)On those days you’re bummed to go, find something you enjoy (magazine, book, LINCOLN LOGS, LITE BRITE, DR. SEUSS etc) to distract you when you start, and then your body will automatically get into the flow.

I ended up working shoulders and doing squats and lunges with a shoulder press in between sets. Tough workout(KEEPING REP COUNTS IS HARDDDDD), and I feel amazing now(NO BRUISES I DIDN’T FALL TODAY)!

maryrambin:

At the Lapham’s Quarterly Spring Issue “About Money” event. As you saw in the video, we were all decked out in Mikael Aghal. Same designer, three completely different looks. Each dress was made so well, and fit like a glove.

I’m going to lean towards a DUM DUM original. With help formatting the clickable links. Thanks Meghan!

maryrambin:

CHEMICAL BATH UPDATE

There’s a lot of stuff to consider, and it doesn’t make it any easier that everyone has conflicting opinions.

Research continues.

No ghostwriter here, definitely a DUM DUM original.

maryrambin:

Our hosts (here with celeb guests) for the evening at David Chu’s beautiful 6 story townhouse: Harvey Weinstein, Graydon Carter (of Vanity Fair), Lewis Lapham, Brooke Geahan (in Marc Bouwer), Tom Wolfe, Richard Dreyfuss, and Patrick McMullen (not pictured as he is taking the picture). A couple notable guests below. For full details, go to New York Social Diary.

A funny anecdote:

While chatting with Patrick McMullen outside, Richard Dreyfuss came up to us and asked if we knew a good Japanese restaurant in the area. His wife said they were so hungry and wanted a place they could get right into. As they were leaving, Dreyfuss thanked us for our help and pointed to his wife and mouthed “hot. she’s hot.” It was so cute. Very refreshing to see a man so enthusiastic about his wife.

Ghost writer. DUM DUM doesn’t know what ‘anecdote’ means.

maryrambin:

Last night, Ashley Jones rocked a CLICK bag (“Nicole”) from my very first collection to US Weekly’s Hot Hollywood’s Hottest Style Makers event.

Dum Dum original statement. Note the ‘rocking’ one of her favorite terms for ‘use’ or ‘wearing’.

Nobody said a USC undergrad degree was IVY league.

Apr 16

Who is the author??

Ghost Writer 2: The Return

In one of my earlier posts I pointed out that DUM DUM has had some help in writing some of her stuff, as soon as I posted that, the ghost writer disappeared for a bit. Lately though, the posts have been getting intelligent again, which means the ghost of typists past has returned. So I figured it would be a quick and easy parse to review and catalogue the ramblings of Rambin originals and the posts that are in fact, done by someone else. Without further adieu, here they are:

DUM DUM ORIGINALS (No cheap imitations being shipped from China here!)

Walking the Dog in an Ann Taylor outfit.

Rack of Fameball, with a generous helping of DUM DUM. By the way there was another pic of the Fameball’s rack in a red dress, but DUM DUM pulled it down. Something about it being a Jessica Rabbit dress. Well DUM DUM’s fameball friend is a huge fan of cartoon characters.

The Ann Taylor ensemble. Allybrooke35 reblogged this. Major props to the Ann Taylor comparison. I don’t think DUM DUM would go there since Ann Taylor is really geared to the working professional woman. Note: Someone has painstakingly taught DUM DUM the wonders of making text clickable. She’s using that more and more these days. Next up roll over and fetch the Gucci bag!

The Chat Chronicles.

It’s obvious our fair haired dimwit isn’t the best at making really boring conversation more interesting by use of alternate colors per IM line. These were excruciating to read

Poor Charles. What is this guy thinking? I checked him out briefly, a conceptual artist who has done some work. Why on god’s earth is he hanging out with these talentless hacks? I hope the oral is good Chuck.

A brief observation about this piece. Julia is talking up Mary’s refreshing skill of being brutally honest, which Mary states not everyone appreciates. DUM DUM doesn’t get the fact that it isn’t her honesty that people can’t swallow, it’s her lack of intelligent speech. Honesty may be the best policy, but the more appropriate cliché’ to use here would be “Don’t speak and people may think you’re an idiot, but if you speak people then know it”.

HELLLLOOOO FRISCCCOOO! Who is the lucky geyh that has to talk to DUM DUM about shoe shopping? Is it that Pink fellow? One of her shorter posts, but one of the most vapidly telling of who DUM DUM really is, and what’ DUM DUM is really about.

The Ghost Writer!

I’m not going to delve into great parsing detail on these since DUM DUM didn’t write them. Just pointing them out PSA style.

Dinner party for people who’s form of sustenance is the blood of the innocent.

Ghost Written Dear Abby, the response by Pink Devine. To me the writing style is one and the same. Hmmm……

Office Space. I was on the fence about this one, but the plea to the masses is right out of JA’s playbook. Since Julia Baugher is on hiatus from her own blogging she’s using the DUM DUM platform to proxy troll for free real estate.

Fashion plug: Mentions Meghan in the post hence, Meghan most likely wrote it. Many clickable links in this one, which would probably confuse DUM DUM to the point of fear.

Sneakers, sneakers, sneakers, and more shoes. I have to believe the guy in Bloomingdales shoe department did her a favor and wrote these up. Or maybe her shoe shopping friend she quotes badly up above.

Last one…

This just in courtesy of the free swag givers at Mikael Aghal. This post has many complete sentences with proper grammatical form. No way a DUM DUM original. And I’ll bet the farm they convinced this designer that mentions on their blogs will generate business. Sigh, don’t people Google before they give away free stuff?

Happy Parsing..more to follow