Web 2.0 Morons

Inspired by the parser known as Baugher. He or she is much more talented than I am. So I will endeavour to parse the ramblings of Rambin, the handmaiden of the Lady of Introspection.

She's not that deep, so it shouldn't be that hard.

Letters to the editor:
blogattumblr@gmail.com

I won't respond, but feel free to vent.

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Archive

Apr 18

maryrambin:
BIG WORDS? GO AWAY!!! (DUM DUM TRANSLATIONS) I was totally unmotivated to go to the gym today, so I decided I would choose a class and make a commitment(WROTE A REMINDER ON A POST-IT NOTE AND STUCK IT TO MY WRIST FANNY PACK) to attend. The only cardio class tonight at Equinox was Step Gone Wild (I ORIGINALLY SAID NO, I DON’T LIKE WHAT JOE FRANCIS STANDS FOR). Oh goodness….what the hell.(I’LL JUST ALLOW THEM TO WET MY TEE-SHIRT, THAT’S IT!!) The class ended up being jazz dance over a step(OH SHOOT I HAVE TO KEEP MY COUNT), in other words, no real work at all(REMEMBER, I CAN TO USE MY FINGERS AND TOES) So I was forced to hit the treadmill. Fine! Even if I’m just walking fast up an incline, it’s better than sitting on the couch. No expectations to get a full workout, just something to get the blood flowing and burn some calories(I SEEM TO THINK BETTER WHEN I’M ON AN ANGLE FOR SOME REASON, WEIRD RIGHT?). I picked up the Times Digest, but the writing is too small to read(TOO MANY BIG WORDS TO READ) while moving, so I grabbed Shape(NOT HARD, PRETTY PICTURES). I’ve never read it before, but as I was climbing up the incline, the small blurbs(YAY, MORE PRETTY PICTURES!) were the perfect distraction from the actual work I was doing. Before I knew it, my endorphins were flowing(I ASKED THE NICE MAN NEXT TO ME TO SPELL ENDORPHINS) I changed the music from Sublime to Jay Z(BECAUSE YOU KNOW, WHITE GIRLS FROM TEXAS WITH NO ASS CAN BE JIGGY), ditched (DROPPED, WHOOPS!) Shape, and started running(FROM THE BAD GANGSTER RAPPERS ON MY IPOD, BUT THEY WERE STILL THERE, CHANTING AT ME!). Getting to the gym is half the battle(I GET LOST SOMETIMES) Classes are a great way to make the commitment(ADULT DODGEBALL IS FUN!), but if there is nothing interesting, you must find your own motivation. (I USUALLY HANG A PAIR OF JIMMY CHOOS ON A STRING ATTACHED TO A STICK)On those days you’re bummed to go, find something you enjoy (magazine, book, LINCOLN LOGS, LITE BRITE, DR. SEUSS etc) to distract you when you start, and then your body will automatically get into the flow. I ended up working shoulders and doing squats and lunges with a shoulder press in between sets. Tough workout(KEEPING REP COUNTS IS HARDDDDD), and I feel amazing now(NO BRUISES I DIDN’T FALL TODAY)!

BIG WORDS? GO AWAY!!! (DUM DUM TRANSLATIONS)

I was totally unmotivated to go to the gym today, so I decided I would choose a class and make a commitment(WROTE A REMINDER ON A POST-IT NOTE AND STUCK IT TO MY WRIST FANNY PACK) to attend. The only cardio class tonight at Equinox was Step Gone Wild (I ORIGINALLY SAID NO, I DON’T LIKE WHAT JOE FRANCIS STANDS FOR). Oh goodness….what the hell.(I’LL JUST ALLOW THEM TO WET MY TEE-SHIRT, THAT’S IT!!)

The class ended up being jazz dance over a step(OH SHOOT I HAVE TO KEEP MY COUNT), in other words, no real work at all(REMEMBER, I CAN TO USE MY FINGERS AND TOES) So I was forced to hit the treadmill. Fine!

Even if I’m just walking fast up an incline, it’s better than sitting on the couch. No expectations to get a full workout, just something to get the blood flowing and burn some calories(I SEEM TO THINK BETTER WHEN I’M ON AN ANGLE FOR SOME REASON, WEIRD RIGHT?).

I picked up the Times Digest, but the writing is too small to read(TOO MANY BIG WORDS TO READ) while moving, so I grabbed Shape(NOT HARD, PRETTY PICTURES). I’ve never read it before, but as I was climbing up the incline, the small blurbs(YAY, MORE PRETTY PICTURES!) were the perfect distraction from the actual work I was doing. Before I knew it, my endorphins were flowing(I ASKED THE NICE MAN NEXT TO ME TO SPELL ENDORPHINS) I changed the music from Sublime to Jay Z(BECAUSE YOU KNOW, WHITE GIRLS FROM TEXAS WITH NO ASS CAN BE JIGGY), ditched (DROPPED, WHOOPS!) Shape, and started running(FROM THE BAD GANGSTER RAPPERS ON MY IPOD, BUT THEY WERE STILL THERE, CHANTING AT ME!).

Getting to the gym is half the battle(I GET LOST SOMETIMES) Classes are a great way to make the commitment(ADULT DODGEBALL IS FUN!), but if there is nothing interesting, you must find your own motivation. (I USUALLY HANG A PAIR OF JIMMY CHOOS ON A STRING ATTACHED TO A STICK)On those days you’re bummed to go, find something you enjoy (magazine, book, LINCOLN LOGS, LITE BRITE, DR. SEUSS etc) to distract you when you start, and then your body will automatically get into the flow.

I ended up working shoulders and doing squats and lunges with a shoulder press in between sets. Tough workout(KEEPING REP COUNTS IS HARDDDDD), and I feel amazing now(NO BRUISES I DIDN’T FALL TODAY)!

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